handy tip i'll try to remember..

i just stumbled across this on romancedivas, and I'm bound to loose where I read it, hence posting here....
[original post: http://www.romancedivas.com/divaforum/index.php?showtopic=7747&st=0&gopid=101983&#entry101983 ]

Kristen said...

Changing telling to showing isn't always that easy but in this case, the "felt" made it telling. You were telling us what she was feeling instead of just showing us by putting us right in the action. It's not always so simple.Sometimes you need more of a rewrite to accomplish this.

Example:Jeff's response made Sarah mad. (Shallow POV)

Rewrite: Sarah's jaw tightened in response to Jeff's comment. How dare he accuse her of lying? (Deep POV)

Do you see the difference? Often deep POV requires more writing in general, more elaboration of what's going on and often includes internals (How dare he accuse her of lying?) That puts us directly into the character's head.I hope that helps.

Here are some words to look for that take us out of deep POV (I'm sure this isn't a complete list so I'm betting others will add to it.) However, there will be times when you need to use one of these words - writing is not an absolute! There are exceptions to every rule.
Felt/feel
Heard
Listened
Realized
Thought
Decided
Wondered

...and Amanda Brice said...

"I'd add "knew" to that"