On Vampires

No, not *on* vampires, silly.

Thing is, I'm trying to write this vampire story. Was all going swimmingly, until I got to the point where I wanted my H. to suggest checking their.... and there I ran out of words, because the word I needed was 'the piece of the anatomy by which they absorb blood'.

So, off I went, googling, and to be honest it looks like I can make up anything I want LOL

I know, I *know*, it's fiction so of *course* I can make up anything I want, but I thought I'd try to stick with some sort of tradition. Thing is, reading the internet...

• Vampires can breath. Or they can't.
• Vampires have circulation. Or they don't.
• Vampires can walk in sunlight. Or they can't.
• Vampires have pale complexions. Or ruddy.

The list goes on. About the only thing that's common is that they have some kind of dependency upon humans in order to stay alive. To be honest, in there isn't even 100% agreement that this is through blood, but I think I'd better stick with that one. After all, the aim is a vampire story, not someone who has to drink other people's spittle to survive.

So. I need to make up my own vampire theory. This is going to change any way I like, in order to fit my story, so there. I'm going to try for rule, then reason. Wish me luck...

They are cold to touch. This poses problems, because they also move really fast and heal rapidly. See, if they're cold because they have slow circulation, it stands to reason they'd be sluggish, too, doesn't it? So. Let's say instead that their biology is super-efficient. In other words, when they need to heal, brain says 'fix that bit!' and energy rushes off to the injury in question, but the rest of the time, skin is pretty low on the priority list, so stays cold.

Vampires live for ages. Well, we age because of radiation from the sun and stuff, right? And vampires don't go out in the sun, do they? Need to make that a bit more convincing... You know how things look a colour not because they are that colour, but because they absorb all light that *isnt* that colour? Well maybe we absorb radiation but Vampires reflect it... wow, they'd be really good on a hot day, wouldn't they? No, this isn't working.

Right. We absorb radiation from what we consume, breathe in and stuff, too.
If radiation is like other biotoxins, blood is going to be *more* radioactive than the stuff that the bloody creature has consumed.

So why would a vampire eat blood?

Let's say vampires have a nifty way of *dispersing* the blood's radiation. But this takes quite a bit of physcial energy to do. Let's say a *lot*. In other words, when a vampire's de-radiating, s/he's pretty much out for the count.

Therefore, they won't want to eat anything that's too tricky to digest, or the energy gained from eating would be lost by de-radiating it.

So let's say vampires eat blood because its the rice and chicken of the mortal world. No allergies, no indigestion, and the shortest turnaround in digestive terms.

But UV raditation is like *all over*. Their body's would probably go into shutdown, just trying to process the stuff, and they're not gaining any energy from it, either. Plus it's not controlled - it's not all sitting tidily in their stomach, it's hitting them from all directions.

So what's the conclusion. Vampires have a nifty method of removing radiation from their systems but it's a big power drain and sunlight would likely kill them off. This explains 1. Why they like blood - because it's pretty much pure energy and not much extra digestive energy needed. and 2. why they don't like sunlight. and 3. why I'm going to have to make my Vamp.'s drowsey after eating LOL

Silver is bad. In the case of my story, it's also bad for my h., who for the sake of *fiction* I've given mild argyria. I don't want to take this too lightly, and here's why:
http://homepages.together.net/~rjstan/rose2.html
www.quackwatch.org/01QuackeryRelatedTopics/PhonyAds/silverad.html

Colloidal Silver is dodgy stuff, people. Be wary.

Anyway, the reason I've used it in the story is down to the whole vampire/silver thing. Why might silver trigger such a fatal reaction in vampires? I've no idea. I do know that it has anti-biotic and anti-enzyme properties. Since this is fiction, I might put the radiation-dispersal down to a unique enzyme or something, I suppose? I am going to need biological advice on this, I think. Still, I'll keep writing.

More theories to be added as I need them...

:)